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hammy by hasbanye

12 Jan

Hammond pulls into the train station, and parks his truck next to a girl sitting on a bench.

“Hammy, would you mind being on time for once, I don’t have all day to sit and wait for your ass.”

“Julia, where did you get the idea that you can talk to your father that way?  For Christ’s sake I don’t care if you’re nineteen now, show me some fucking respect, and get your caboose in the car!”

“Really Hammy, caboose? You have no problem throwing out f-bombs but the word ass makes you uncomfortable.”

Julia rolls her eyes, grabs her bag, and gets into the truck.

“And why are you calling me Hammy? You may call me dad.”

“Whatever, Hammy.”

“Oh, so I got you one of those infinity scarves that are all the rage right now. Check it out, it’s in the bag.”

Julia hesitantly reaches down and pulls out a soft pink infinity scarf.

“Wow, Hammy.  I don’t know what to say…which designer is it? And how do you know what an infinity scarf is?”


“Yes, Hammy designer, you know the people who make clothes and shoes and even the occasional scarf. You buy them in stores.”

“Designer, eh.  Well I got the pattern online, from one of those blog things…they had a whole bunch of stuff on there and they kept talking about infinity scarves.  I thought you might like one.  If you don’t like the pink I could make you another one in a different color.  Blue maybe? That would look real nice with your eyes.”

“You mean to tell me you MADE me a scarf.  And now I’m supposed to wear something that is homemade?”

“Yea, it’s HOMEMADE, that’s better than small Malaysian child made.  All of your clothes have to be MADE somewhere, and if you think that homemade is so awful, we can drop it off at a homeless shelter right now.  I bet they wouldn’t have any problems accepting a new, warm, fashionable infinity scarf.  When did you get so snooty? You know, I thought it might be nice to give you a gift I spent 3 evenings making, but I see my thought and effort is lost upon you.”

“God Hammy, you don’t have to be so temperamental. I like the scarf, I may even wear it…though next time you should add a label or something to it, or at least buy a Vogue pattern.  Oh and my new favorite color is aqua.”

“Aqua, ok, well, maybe you will and maybe you won’t get an aqua infinity scarf.”
Hammy looks away from the road and slightly smiles at Julia.

“Hammy, can we have Chinese for dinner tonight

“Chinese? I was thinking milkshakes and burgers, but if you really want Chinese we can do that.”

“Let’s do Szechuan chicken and chocolate milkshakes.  Maybe a Rocky movie?”

“Sounds good, Jewels.”

“Yea, it better sound good, Dad.”

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