The Silence

8 Aug

Sometimes I feel like I can’t quite get comfortable in my chair. I’m not hungry. I’m not thirsty. I’m not tired. And yet something feels completely … off. As if the world is spinning crookedly on its axis and nobody else can tell, but I’m constantly leaning to one side to compensate. I itch to sit straight up.

This happens every year. It’s my mother’s birthday. She is turning 50.

I do her chart again. I have done this so many times I don’t even pay attention as my hands lay out the numbers, the stars, the planets, the predictions. My mother is suffering. The stars tell me. I hear them, and I do listen. But I don’t call her.

He doesn’t mean to hurt you. He loves you. Don’t worry, he really does love you. Her words echo in my ears.

I put the chart away and lock up my little office. For the 10th time since leaving home, I open my mind across the thousands of miles and encourage her to say, “It’s over. I have had enough.”

My phone doesn’t ring either.

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One Response to “The Silence”

  1. ingridf August 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    Beautiful and haunting.

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