karma by pyritefortune

23 Jan

It can’t do him any good, always being at the beck and call of that wretched blackberry, day and night, rain or shine. It’s not as if he doesn’t work hard enough while he’s there, or spend more time at the office than he ever does at home. I’ve told told him over and over, I’m sick and fed up of playing second fiddle to a box of wretched chocolates. And even when I do manage to drag him away for a long weekend here or there, he spends more time tapping out emails than enjoying the break. I thought I’d managed to convince him of the relaxing benefits of hiking last year in Wales, until I figured out he was nipping up to the top of the hill to get signal. So this year I put my foot down. A week – an entire week – on retreat. No email, no phone, no excuses; just silent meditation and occasional gentle yoga. It will do him the power of good.

She never said there would be quite this many lentils, I have to say. I’m not sure my digestion is going to be too pleased with a week of this. But at least stuck in here there is absolutely zero chance of getting dragged round any more museums, galleries, stately homes or glass-blowing exhibitions. Valerie could happily be in there all day making an inventory of every stitch and stroke, but after the fifth or sixth room of crocheted knicknacks and badly painted vases anyone sane gets a little bored. It’s no wonder I take refuge in my emails. And the insistent exhortations to have fun – there is always a view to be admired or a tower to climb or a gift shop to plunder, and never a moment to actually sit and think. There are definitely benefits to this silence malarky.

I can see his nose twitching; he’s thinking about work, I know he his! I go to all this effort to find him the ideal environment to leave the rat race behind and de-stress, and he’s thinking about his bloody work! I should have known. He’s going to sit and stew and fret about how things are going at the office without him. I bet he’s plotting schemes to break into the locker with his phone in. Maybe he already has! He’s looking smug; he must have. He’s sitting there, thinking he’s got me fooled with the serene gaze and dreamy eyes.  I’m so disappointed in him, I had hoped he might make an effort. He’s mocking me. I bet he’s refusing to find inner peace just to spite me.

Perhaps after lunch I should try to sit further away from Valerie. It’s hardly a peaceful contemplative space with her huffing and scowling and fidgeting on her cushion. I had a sneaky suspicion she wouldn’t actually like her precious silence once she got it, she’s never been one for keeping her opinions to herself. Dao Li will be disappointed she’s forgotten all the breathing exercises. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have much truck with all the reincarnation and nirvana nonsense. But I can definitely see the point of the meditation. No nagging or griping, just an endless expanse of time entirely free of castles and guided tours and bingo. An entire week, just to think. Already today I’ve put together a full strategy for the Valentines Day campaign, complete with overhead projections and a framework budget for the ad buy. With a week of peace and quiet I should be able to map out the whole of our 2011 business plan. My head feels clear as a bell, for once. I wonder if I can persuade Valerie to come again next year? And maybe I could bring the rest of the management team too, we could make it into a team away-day…


One Response to “karma by pyritefortune”

  1. ingridfnl January 24, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

    I love how you formatted this with a “he thought” “she thought”…

    I laughed out loud when I came to, “She never said there would be quite this many lentils, I have to say.”

    Great transition in his feelings about the experience too!

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