dawg by ingridfnl

5 Sep

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” The barks of the neighbor’s dog and sound of scrabbling paws break into Adam’s sex dream now gone badly wrong as the beautiful stewardess begins panting with dank doggy breath and wagging a sharp tail.

He awakes disoriented and squeamish. “Holy mother of…”

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” Fives, Emma’s dog, Priscilla, always barks in fives.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” Adam groans. Emma is away for the weekend, and he’s promised to walk Priscilla. He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, and head in hands, elbows on knees he stares at his feet dreading the walk that is to come. Yesterday, he put off the walk and ended up having to clean up after Priscilla, so today, this early morning walk is unavoidable. The bleach from yesterday’s clean up had chafed his baby smooth hands, meaning that Adam had had to go for an afternoon paraffin hand treatment.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.”

In irritation, Adam stomps to the bathroom and looking in the mirror, frowns at his helmet hair. Normally, he would never go into public like this. Never. Adam is fastidious in all ways related to personal grooming and has never, in his adult life, left the house before showering and blow drying his hair into what he privately thinks of as a Greek-godlike mane.

Adam is vain.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” He sighs, acknowledging that this dog has beat him, at least for today.

Pulling on his neatly folded jogging gear, and grabbing his keys and keys to Emma’s place, he resignedly leaves the apartment, banging his door behind him.

“I’m coming. Just … shut … up,” he mutters under his breath as he unlocks Emma’s door.

“Woof, woof…” The minute that Adam enters the apartment Priscilla throws her 25 pound frame at his legs and dances around his feet, “woof, woof, woof.” This is more chaos than Adam can deal with at six in the morning, unwashed, unshaven, ungroomed.

Adam hates dogs, and this one reminds him of every girlfriend he’s ever had: needy, loud, demanding and manipulative. She now sits at his feet and looks up at him with large dark eyes, tail wagging, head tilted, and Adam immediately resents his uncontrollable softening. OK, so he doesn’t really hate dogs, just…

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!”

Adam relents, kneeling down and giving her a cuddle and for just a moment is filled with the love of the little gentle dog. Just has he rests his hand on her head, she licks his face wetly and pees on his foot.

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One Response to “dawg by ingridfnl”

  1. phoenix.writing September 19, 2010 at 5:36 pm #

    LOL Ah, dear Priscilla. Poor Adam. I even believe she’s trying really hard.

    And funniest sex dream gone wrong ever! 🙂

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