new by parenthesized

17 May

His head tipped forward, the too-large baseball cap almost falling off.  Just as it reached the point of no return, revealing tousled black hair, his head rocked backward against the bus seat.  He had his arm over a guitar case settled on his lap.  His other hand clutched a wrinkled bus ticket, destination New York City.

An announcement over the intercom startled him awake.  Brian looked up, scanning the doors of the station furtively.  Readjusting his baseball cap, he pulled it down to cover his face, hiding the dark circles under his eye and the yellowing bruise on his cheek.  Slouching lower in the grimy seat, he stared intently down the depot

A smile spread across his face when the bus arrived.  He leapt forward, almost dropping his guitar in his rush to get in line.  The red duffel slung over his shoulder swung around, and the zipper sprung open.  He was too excited to notice the trail of clothes, guitar picks, and sheet music that followed him or to hear the snort from the tired bus driver.  Brian put his guitar over his seat, examined, it and flipped the case around until it showed the duct tape label: BRIAN SAMSON.

He sat down, a small grin on his face, preparing to continue his nap.  The cap covered his face completely; a satisfied sigh could be heard from its depths.  Brian had barely closed his eyes when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  When he saw the pretty girl, he straightened up immediately and attempted what he believed was a debonair, charming smile which fell the moment he saw his boxers neatly folded sitting on top of a pile of his stuff.

He blushingly reached for the items, stuffing them haphazardly into the duffel.  “Sorry about that.  I …uh… I didn’t notice.”

The girl laughed a little at his sheepish grin.  “It’s fine, “ she said.  She looked around the bus and then, to Brian’s surprise and joy, sat down next to him.

“I’m Lisa.”


“Brian, I know,” she said pointing at the many grey labels spread across his possessions.

His blush deepened.  “Right.”  He looked out the window, wondering if he could make the situation more awkward.

He turned back to her, attempting to distract from his growing embarrassment.  “So why are you heading to New York?”

“I have an audition for this tv show.   You?”

“Trying to find a club who’ll let me play.  A record deal.  The whole works.”

He sounded so earnest and hopeful, the same that she had sounded.  They looked at each other and smiled, a silent good luck hung between them.   Both began to talk in excited spurts about their plans for the city, never mentioning what they were leaving behind or what had made them run.

When the bus finally arrived hours later, they walked out of the station, eyes blinking against the bright sunlight of their new home.  Together.


We previously saw Lisa in the script.


4 Responses to “new by parenthesized”

  1. juleshg May 17, 2010 at 3:37 am #

    I loved the first meeting between Brian and Lisa — at least his name wasn’t sewn into his boxers!!

    I am cuious about the yellow bruise on his cheek and hope we see Brian again some day.

  2. jmforceton May 19, 2010 at 8:10 pm #

    I wasn’t going to pick up his stuff but I did want to yell to him to get him to turn around. A great job creating this awkward scene and making it believable.

  3. ingridfnl May 19, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

    Beautifully rendered. It is totally charming.


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