pregnant? thoughts by jmforceton

7 Mar

In the end I decided to use her name; not sure if that was as effective as if it had stayed anonymous?

—————————

Time’s presence every instant felt

As present, past became

Her world in somber silence, shifts

Life’s silent track so true

Her hopes in flux, beliefs in doubt

Truth, timeless, held unchanged

Her true and instant answer looms

So soon to be the past

Her small safe space may soon unfold

In ways for her unknown

While wise, the world has always known

The paths that will be sown

Comes constant change, no past, repeats

Yet patterns stay unchanged

Vague visions, restive subtle thoughts

Refined reflections flow

No comfort, paths she does not know

Yet life, to live, must grow

Her answer here, no pregnant fear

Sang free and fragrant life

As now a time to live anew

Our Lisa, leaves the room

Near future, clear, a dear friend calls

The Obélisque obscures

—————————–

An interesting exercise on undertaking to consider every vowel, verb, noun, consonant, rhythm, rhyme, and all forms of alliteration; avoiding illy illiteration and sychic psyillyness.

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5 Responses to “pregnant? thoughts by jmforceton”

  1. jadamthwaite March 7, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

    I really like the idea of doing this as a poem, and it really reflects the time and the waiting. An interesting idea.

  2. jmforceton March 7, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

    Oops, looks we lost the 4 line stanza grouping.

  3. ingridfnl March 7, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    I agree with Jenny. The form really gave a sense of pace.

  4. phoenix.writing March 14, 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    Poetry and I have always had a bit of a vexed existence, so I’m afraid there’s not much I can offer constructively on this one. I suppose that without the “Lisa”, the poem could seem a little more universal, but I actually like the pull back to the specific, the reminder that this is Lisa’s wait for an answer.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. “answered questions”, paris, may, 2004 by jmforceton « the character project - March 14, 2010

    […] – week 9  “Pregnant? Thoughts” , week 8  “Number Talk” , week 7  “Monolithic” , week 6 […]

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