cold feet by phoenix.writing

14 Feb

Amy could not help but wonder if she was making a big mistake.  This felt like the first time she’d been alone in weeks—Daddy was talking to the minister, Mom was dealing with the florist—and therefore the first time after all the incessant planning where she could stop and consider if she was making the right decision.

She stared at herself in the mirror and tried to think rationally.  Cold feet.  Wedding jitters.  Everybody got them.  It was a perfectly logical human impulse to second-guess yourself right before you committed to something life-altering and long-term.

Of course, that didn’t mean quite what it used to.  It felt like more couples got divorced than married these days.  But there were still some things which could never be undone if she did this.

It had cost at least three hundred dollars to make her hair look like this, she thought idly, probably more since Daddy had refused to tell her the exact price.  But it looked good, really good.  She had been worried that she was going to look like some sort of cheap decoration gone horribly wrong with those crystals woven in, but they were tiny and caught the light unexpectedly and looked quite beautiful.

This was some consolation since she’d lost the battle with the dress; it was, thankfully, not quite hideously ugly, but it was much more complicated than the simple affair she had gone into the preparations imagining.

There were so many people invested in her special day, it was impossible to give her exactly what she wanted.  She didn’t want to disappoint them, she really didn’t, and—

“Someone having a panic attack over there?”

Her eyes snapped away from her reflection, and she let out a sigh of relief as she saw Stacey standing at the door.  Her best friend, and someone guaranteed to set her on the straight and narrow.  Dressed currently in a salmon pink dress and still looking as though she was possibly not going to forgive Amy for it, but she could be counted on to help Amy in a crisis.

“Am I doing the right thing?” Amy asked, feeling pitiful and more like a two-year-old than the twenty-eight-year-old she was supposed to be.

“Oh, sweetie.”  Stacey moved across the room to sit down next to Amy on the pouf in front of the vanity.  “You’re the only one who can decide what will make you happy.  You’re the one who knows how Adam makes you feel and whether or not you can imagine a life with him.”

Amy straightened her shoulders, drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.  She was completely in love with Adam, and she and Stacey both knew it.  She’d fallen in love with him when she was about twelve, though it had taken a little while longer to get all the details sorted out.

“Right,” Amy said with growing resolve.  “I have a plan, and I need to stick with it.”

Stacey’s lips tipped up.  “You did tell me to give you a kick in the behind if you started to doubt yourself.”

Amy rose to her feet.  “Is that why you came?”

“It’s now or never.”

“Okay.  I can do this.”

Stacey helped her open the window.

“Thank you,” Amy said with heartfelt gratitude as she threw a leg over the windowsill.

Stacey waved this aside.  “That’s what the maid of honour is for.”

“To tell everyone at the wedding that the bride has done a bunk to elope with someone else?” Amy asked sceptically as Stacey helped her get the second leg over and lower herself safely onto the fire escape.

Stacey rolled her eyes.  “To ensure that the bride is happy.  That’s all I’ve ever cared about.”

Amy leaned back through the window and gave Stacey a kiss on the cheek.  “You’re the best.”

“Naturally,” Stacey said with a grin.  “Now get the hell out of here.  The car’s parked around the block.  Give Adam my best, and promise me that you’ll take photos that I can see later.”

Amy nodded, whispered a last thank you, and then high-tailed it out of there as quickly as she could in this damn dress.  Subtlety was kind of loss when you were running around in a giant white dress with a four foot train, but she’d got that mostly looped up over her arm, and they’d picked the dressing room on this side of the building because it was unlikely she’d run into anyone else.

Her parents were probably never going to forgive her but god, it wasn’t their wedding, and there seriously had to come a point at which she knew what she wanted better than they did.

And as soon as Adam climbed out of the car, she knew.  He grinned at her with that lopsided grin she had fallen in love with, grinned at her despite the fact that she’d been hiking through grass in shoes that weren’t made for it and had her dress bunched up.  He grinned at her, and she knew that they were going to make it and everything was going to be all right in the end.

For what felt like the first time in her life, she was doing exactly what she wanted, and she knew that it was going to be the best decision of her life.

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9 Responses to “cold feet by phoenix.writing”

  1. juleshg February 14, 2010 at 11:03 pm #

    Kudos to Amy for having the courage to follow her heart. She is lucky to have Stacey who is clearly the ultimate best friend. It would be great to see the aftermath of her decision from the groom and her parents’ perspective. It was a great story.

    • phoenix.writing February 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm #

      Stacey is definitely the one who is going to be under fire in the beginning for being the messenger, but ultimate best friend material means that she’s willing to do it for Amy’s happiness–and will probably only bring it up on anniversaries and possibly birthdays. 😉

      I’ve been thinking about the reaction of everyone else; I may write it one day. ^_^

  2. ingridfnl February 14, 2010 at 11:31 pm #

    I loved the rise and fall of her panic. Everyone needs a best friend to help us through those moments. This story had beautiful structure and development. It makes me want to read more, which is always a good thing.

    • phoenix.writing February 21, 2010 at 5:34 pm #

      No matter how independent you are, I think support for those big decisions is essential; it’s in most of our natures to second guess ourselves. I’m tempted to write more, and perhaps I will eventually. ^_^

  3. jadamthwaite February 15, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

    Oh, nice twist! I wasn’t expecting that at all. I like the way you don’t mention the groom’s name at all: it really builds to the feeling that Amy is doing the right thing in eloping with Adam.

    • phoenix.writing February 21, 2010 at 5:36 pm #

      I’m glad you enjoyed the twist; I was trying to make it a little different from the standard jitters most brides get before a wedding. In my head, I was definitely envisioning a parental-pre-approved-cookie-cutter-type groom, so that’s why he stayed nameless. Despite the moments of indecision, Amy is definitely certain of the correctness of eloping with Adam instead. ^_^

  4. ingridfnl February 15, 2010 at 9:02 pm #

    Oh! For some reason I thought that Adam *was* the groom and that they were eloping (escaping the wedding…) But I like both possibilities.

    • phoenix.writing February 21, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

      LOL It actually almost works either way, but at the end, Amy says, “To tell everyone at the wedding that the bride has done a bunk to elope with someone else?”, so it really can’t be the groom at that point. Glad you liked both versions though. ^_^

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. peacekeeping by phoenix.writing « the character project - March 14, 2010

    […] to Cold Feet and […]

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