witness by LydiaJayne

31 Jan

“That guy. The one over there in the red shirt. He’s been in here every day this week.”  The waitress snapped her gum, daring him to show surprise.

Mike really hadn’t been sure she’d respond, no matter how much was resting on her answer.

He’d been a cop for fifteen years, and in that time he wasn’t sure he’d ever had a case with leads this slim.  At this point, his only hope was that someone in this diner had seen something.

The patio seating was perfectly positioned to observe the  entrance to the Earl’s Court Apartments – an entrance that had neither security camera nor guard.  The weather had been clear and mild, and the diner was known for good, cheap food and great service.  It should have been ideal.

Unfortunately, great waitresses made lousy witnesses – they were too busy working to watch what was happening in the street.  That efficiency meant a large volume of patrons turned over with great speed, so locating a viable witness would be next to impossible without the help of the waitress who’d been responsible for this section.  The woman in front of him.

She’d stared at him for several long moments, snapping her gum and looking for… something.

Apparently, he’d passed her evaluation because she gave him what just might be the information he needed.

“Thank you.”


3 Responses to “witness by LydiaJayne”

  1. ingridfnl January 31, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    The genre choice is great. If she’s a good witness, does that mean she is a lousy waitress? Fun.

  2. jadamthwaite February 1, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    I really like the passage of time in between the description and the ‘thank you’! I can really imagine Mike and the waitress assessing each other, figuring each other out.

  3. phoenix.writing February 21, 2010 at 5:58 pm #

    I definitely want to find out what the guy in the red shirt knows. And I liked the fact that the waitress knows nothing about the crime itself, can only provide the possible witness because she pays attention to her customers. ^_^

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